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A little over a month ago we got our first foster care placement. We have never had biological children so I don’t know what it’s like. People say there’s nothing like the love you feel the first time you hold your baby in your arms. I’m sure it’s incredible. But you know what else is incredible? The love I felt when I found out that two girls, who had been through more than any children should have to go through, would be joining our home. I knew I loved them before I even met them.
We knew that they may only be staying with us temporarily. We knew that reunification with the biological parents was always the goal, if possible. We knew that there was a possibility the state would find other biological family to send them with. We knew that we would be heartbroken if we loved these girls and then we had to say goodbye. But none of that mattered. We knew that regardless of how long they’d be with us, these girls had the right to be completely and unconditionally loved by the adults who were taking care of them.
When we chose to have them come into our home, we chose to love them. And as we got to know them and understand them over the next few weeks, we came to love them even more. And now we’ve had to say goodbye. They will be living with some of their relatives who we’ve met briefly. They seem nice. But in our hearts these girls are part of our family and they always will and yet, we don’t even know when or if we’ll see them again. It is devastating and my heart is definitely broken.
So, was it worth it? Most definitely! I would never give up the experiences we had with the girls just to spare me some heartache. Sometimes I think this foster care thing will get easier. But I don’t think it will and I don’t really want it to. I think my heart is supposed to break every time I have to say goodbye or I’m not doing what I set out to do.