This year I made a few New Year Resolutions –a spiritual goal, a physical goal, a household goal, and a financial goal. Last month my main focus was supposed to be my spiritual goal –to read my scriptures and say my prayers everyday –but I was far from successful. This month I decided to try again but so far I haven’t been doing too well –until last night.
Last night my ward had a Relief Society activity at the church that was all about the scriptures. We had a seminary teacher and his wife come and play a scripture chase game with us and then we compared studying the scriptures with scuba diving (there are so many treasures to be found if you take the time to dig in deep and you look carefully and patiently for the treasures) and learned some tips to help us get more out of our studying. I had heard all of it before and yet somehow I had forgotten it all.
I had been going about this all wrong. I was viewing daily scripture study as a chore –something that I really needed to do but if I was tired or busy or just plain lazy I’d put it off or forget about it and when I did get around to reading, I would just quickly read a chapter and didn’t get much out of it. It was boring and tedious. The activity was a reminder of how I used to feel about the scriptures. When I was serving my mission in Japan I loved studying the scriptures! It was something I looked forward to each day. It’s not a chore, it’s a privilege. We are so blessed to have access to the word of God –I have the books of scriptures at my house, I have them on my computer, and even on my iPhone and Kindle. I can read them, I can listen to them, I can highlight scriptures and take notes. I can read them in the order they’re written, I can study by topic using the Topical Guide and other study helps. I have 24-7 access to the word of God and I’ve been largely ignoring it.
At the activity they challenged us to read the scriptures for 7 minutes a day, 7 days a week for 7 weeks so that we can develop a habit of scripture study. However, I decided that I need a bit more than 7 minutes if I’m really going to enjoy it. I have committed to waking up early every morning and studying for half an hour. I pray before reading so I can have the Spirit with me to enlighten my understanding and then I read a chapter in the order they’re written –this morning I started at the beginning of the Book of Mormon again –and I take notes on the computer about what I learned or, at the very least, I summarize what I read. I spend the rest of the time studying a topic. Right now I have decided to study the topic of diligence using Preach My Gospel as a guide. I look up scriptures on diligence, ponder them, and write in my notes what they mean to me.
Today was the first day of doing this and I really enjoyed it! It was super hard to get up and those of you who know me might be thinking there’s no way I’ll be able to continue this for long –not in the morning. But I am optimistic. This time is different because I have the Lord’s help. I know that He wants me to study the scriptures and I now have a strong desire to do so. I know that the Lord can bless me with the energy I need to get up early and make it through the day afterwards and I’m going to be praying every night and morning for His help so I can continue doing this.
In the years since my mission I have slowly moved farther away from where I would like to be spiritually. It’s not that I’m doing anything bad or that I’ve lost my testimony, I just haven’t kept the things of the Lord as a high priority. And because it happened gradually, I didn’t notice the effect it had on my life quite as quickly. Last night the Spirit that I felt was strong and filled me with joy –it was the feeling I had quite often during my mission. It helped me realize that the “blah” or dull feeling I’ve been living with for the past few years has been caused in part by my attitude and my lack of focus on spiritual things.
I want to be able to say what Nephi said in 2 Nephi 4:16 “Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.” I know that as I make an effort to diligently study the scriptures that I will be able to feel the Spirit more in my life and I will have the words of the Lord in my heart and in my mind to help guide me through life. We live in a difficult time and it’s not getting easier –I need His help to make it through this life with peace and joy in my heart no matter what I have to face.